The immaculate conception happened while we were watching  Come Dine with Me

between the prawn starter and the lamb curry                                                         Must have

been about forty doctors checked me over                                     Hymen in tact               they just

couldn’t work it out                        Mum said                                    we didn’t raise you to mother 

no fucking Jesus                                  Daddy kept quiet his parents had been Catholic I think he

still had a fear of hell                         Everyone else went mad for it                TV                  Radio 

Then  Jake Cooke came out and told people I tossed him off  by the reservoir                  They

called me not-so-immaculate-Mary after that                                            Anyway                          

the pregnancy lasted about twenty-four weeks                                        There was a lot of blood

and I had to deliver him even though he was dead                           The nurse was kind of angry

I think everyone was                                        When I found a little plastic crucifix that had come

out too all whitish and damp                                                           I thought I understood 

Trust you to miscarry Christ said my daddy                                           Mum was in the next room 

giving an interview                    The documentary would be called                             Cross to Bear     

They’d come straight from Jake’s house

By Ella Frears


Ella Frears is a poet and visual artist based in south-east London. She was shortlisted for Young Poet Laureate for London (2014) and has had poetry published in BRAND, Lighthouse,The Stockholm Review of Literature,The Emma Press and Poems in Which. Ella is an associate board member for Magma Poetry and is currently Poet in Residence at Knole House in Kent.


Artwork by Laura Brown

Laura Suzy Brown is a visual artist/image maker working in Brighton and London.


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